Sunfloweres are such improbable creatures. Most of the time, it seems, their stalks can't support the flower and yet they keep on trying, keep on growing.  We have a crop of sunflowers growing up around one of our bird feeders. They really make the back yard look like summer time.

Yesterday was my most productive day at work so far, completing a couple of small, but tricky tasks. Never underestimate the power of espresso.

Sandra's parents arrived in good order yesterday afternoon and joined us for dinner. They make the 650-mile trip in 12-13 hours. This was either their third or fourth trip this year.

My dog loves oranges. He also loves carrots, bananas, and just about any fruit or vegetable except lettuce or celery. When I was out of work, I'd have an orange as a mid-afternoon snack. Marley would sit at my feet and drool until I tossed a slice to him. I still have the mid-afternoon snack. It's a bit strange to have the orange all to myself.

Ain't it the way? Yesterday Apple announced new versions of the iPod with longer battery life and lower prices. They didn't increase the capacity, though, so I don't feel as bad as I might. I'm still very happy with mine. Yesterday I listened to Garnet Rogers, various pieces by Mozart, and the Paul Butterfield Blue Band.

Most mornings I'm one of the first people in the office. There are a couple of others who arrive early and like to leave the overhead lights off, using just the desk lights. Part of fitting in is not being the one to turn on the overhead lights.

In today's Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy observes that if you think about something at three in the morning and again at noon the next day, you get different answers.

At the start of Week Two, normality is starting to take hold. I've worn my new clothes at least once. It's like the second week of a new school year. I know pretty much what to expect, know where my classes are, and even have a few longer-term assignments. My manager mentioned briefly on Friday that this contract may run through late November. That is a good thing, for the most part, although it does complicate my search for permanent employment. December is a lousy time to be looking for work. I'll talk with my manager today to understand more of what he expects. I will also need some flexibility in my schedule to help my family from time to time.

On Saturday we learned that my father has been suffering with terrible back pain for a few days. The pain came on suddently and has been withering. He is 90 but has been in what his doctor described as vigorous good health. He has been looking forward to sailing again this season. The pain is draining the vitality from his face and body. Stubbornly, he will wait until this morning to call his doctor and will drive himself to his appointments. He is a strong man and it took this much pain for him to look his age.

Yesterday Sandra and I trimmed the hedges at my father's house. Sandra did most of the trimming and I cleaned up. I dumped the clippings into the woods behind the house, woods that I played in as a child. I remember climbing the big pine trees, getting the pine pitch on my hands and clothes. Unlike the house, which seems smaller now, the trees are bigger and taller. I was tempted to climb one, but then thought the better of it.

We were supposed to have company at the camp on Saturday night, but the company canceled. Sandra and I went to our favorite special restaurant and ate too much good food. As the saying goes, we were too stuffed to jump. On Sunday morning we went for a canoe ride around the south end of the quiet lake.

Sandra's parents are driving from Prince Edward Island tomorrow and will arrive at suppertime. Sandra's mother has a doctor's appointment here on Friday. They've talked about going back early next week. We'll see. They, too, are wonderful examples of living interesting and interested lives in their 80s.

By the timestamp on this entry, you can see that I woke early. Marley's had his breakfast and has gone back to sleep. The only sound is the ticking of the clock and his soft snoring.

In the last week, I've added several folks to the distribution list for this web log, so I'd like to step back and bring everyone up to date. In March I was laid off from my job as a manager at IBM. I started a web log as journal of my activity while I was out of work. This week I returned to work on a contract, meaning that I'll be working as an hourly employee for several months. I have recast this web log to record the goings-on as I return to work.

It's also important to remember what it is that I do for a living. Even those who worked with me weren't always sure. In brief, I am a technical writer, preparing documentation primarily for computer software products. I've been doing something like this for close to 25 years. In that time, I've also done related work, managing people, projects, and computer systems. At the core, though, I've focused on improving the way that a company manages its technical information to help its customers do their jobs.

Toward that end, I spend a lot of time on what may seem like peripheral activities: investigating new ways for technical writers to create, manage, and publish the technical information. Yesterday I was working on a particular problem (using Emacs for DITA authoring, for those of you who care about such things), when the senior manager of the group stopped by. I explained to him what I was doing. "How does that help us?" he asked. So I explained how this work fit into their process-improvement strategy. He seemed to buy it, because the discussion then veered off to a more general discussion of how the strategy was being developed and rolled out to the group. For me, it was a day of play that someone is willing to pay for. That's a good day at work.

We're in a gray and rainy stretch, making it all the easier to go to work. This weather pattern may continue for another week.

For now I'm not planning to bring a lot of personal stuff to my office, perhaps just a few reference books. It's a nice enough cube, large by some standards, with six-foot walls. In previous jobs, I'd spend 10-12 hours a day at work, so it was natural that my office would become a second home with a change of clothes, refrigerator, and many personal effects. My contract limits me to 40 hours per week and only for a few months in duration.

My iPod is the only personal accessory that I bring with me. Its eight-hour battery gives me just enough music for the work day. I like playing disc jockey. Some days I wander through the whole collection; other days I'll listen to just one artist. Yesterday it was Van Morrison.

Last night Sandra and I went out to dinner with son Mike. He's an interested guy, always asking good questions. Lynn and the kids are on vacation in Vermont this week. He'll join them this weekend.

In conversations with my new co-workers and others, I'm finding that a lot of people were out of work for a long time, a year and more. Theirs is the tone of shipwreck survivors, glad to be on the beach, any beach, away from the waves and the sharks.

Two players from the Red Sox, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, hit two-run homers in last night's all-star game. Now, if the Sox can pull off the trade for Randy Johnson, life would be really good. RJ is grandson Joe's favorite player.

Yesterday was a quiet day at work, spent reading and taking care of administrative tasks. I'll meet a couple more people today, including the leader of my project.

It's not as easy to read and send my personal email from work. I like to keep personal email separate from work stuff. I use a web-based email reader that isn't as elegant as the stand-alone email programs such as Outlook, Outlook Express, Eudora, and others. There's a nifty web-based service at Oddpost.com. I've used them before and may do so again.

I went grocery shopping on the way home yesterday. That's another adjustment resulting from my return to work, tending to the household chores. I'd been shopping, washing clothes, going to the post office, feeding the birds, and such during the day when the crowds are smaller. Some things will now be done at different times and probably a few things won't get done at all.

We've embarked on a new season of socializing at the camp. It started with having our grandsons stay overnight on the 4th. We had company last weekend and will again this weekend. It makes us look at the place differently, trying to make it more welcoming to visitors. Sandra painted a couple of signs that we hung on trees along the dirt road. We're also learning to cook differently, using the little gas stove and the outdoor grill.

So, as we approach the middle of the work week, my mood is good. I'm still a bit nervous about having to do real work, but believe that it'll be ok. I'll talk more with the people who were out of work a long time to find out how they made the transition.

I made it through Day One with nary a bump or bruise. Because a couple of the key people weren't available in the morning, I worked just the afternoon. My new work computer was ready for me and most of the administrative chores were in good order. My manager, George, introduced me to his team. The people are very nice. Day Two will be a challenge because I have to remember the names of all of the people. I will go around the office area this morning and check names on the cubicles. I spent most of yesterday afternoon reading, familiarizing myself with the company's policies, procedures, and standards. It will be another day or two before I'm expected to do real work. I have a laptop at work and may be able to work from home once in a while.

The most tiring part of the day was the commute home. It's been many months since I've driven in a Massachusetts rush hour. I'd forgotten, but quickly remembered, the tricks of the road. When I was commuting to Lexington, I would send a wackiness report to Sandra every morning. On this day, the wackiness was about average, but it was a lot for this guy.

You might detect my reserved attitude toward this job. Make no mistake. I'm very grateful for the opportunity and look forward to doing a good job. It's just that, well, knowing that this is temporary is quite a distraction. In many ways, though, this is a good next step. It gives me a chance to reacquaint myself with the work and technology, to sharpen my technical skills, to learn how to work again. I learned that my job was going away last September. I started looking for work full-time in February. In this business, that's a long time to be away. This job will make me ready for whatever is next.

I put the original web log in http://www.queenlake.com/blogs/roasterboy-original.html.

Today I start a contract writing job. The job should last a few months. In the meantime, I'll continue my search for permanent work. (I use the word permanent advisedly. I may have mentioned this before, but I heard one person describe work as the thing we do between layoffs.) I have a couple of interviews in the queue that I'll need to schedule around my new work day.

So, how do I feel about returning to work? Mixed. It's a good group of people. It will be good to use my mind again and to be in regular contact with people. As I noted earlier, I've experienced a sharp drop-off in the amount of email that I receive. It will be good to rejoin a working team. Oh, and the money will be nice. On the other side, it's difficult to get really excited about something that is temporary. In the past few years I've thrown myself headlong into my work and have experienced all of the joys and bumps of such intensity. With a contract job, we don't reach that level of involvement. Also, in some past contract positions, I've even been invisible, there to do a job and all but ignored by the full-time staff. This group may be different. I hope so.

Last week I sank into a blue mood for several days. I'm doing better now. I have a wonderful family that supports and encourages me. I'm truly blessed.

I started this web log as a way to record my activities and thoughts while I was out of work. I should, then, retire this journal and start another with a new theme. Watch for the further adventures of Roaster Boy.

So even though I have an offer and expect to prepare the paperwork today, opportunities for permanent positions still show up. Yesterday afternoon I received an email from a former colleague whose company may been looking to hire a documentation manager. I have an interview scheduled for next week. This morning another friend alerted me to another management position at a software company in Westborough. I applied for the job. Knowing how long these things can take, I can start the processes now and expect that it might take three or four months for me to get another offer.

Someone described work as the thing you do between layoffs. I hope that's not the case for me, but, having survived this one in good shape, I think I could deal with another layoff with a better attitude. Most importantly I'll appreciate the time at home.

This morning Marley and I went for a 3.5 mile walk. It is a fine morning for a walk, the temperature in the low 60s. This is a route that I'll often run. It was nice to have the company this time. I listened to old (Peter Green era) Fleetwood Mac on my iPod.

Later this morning I have to go for my drug screening as a part of my new job. They don't test for alcohol or other dangerous habits, just illegal drugs. Don't get me wrong. I've seen the devastation that can come from drugs. Nevertheless, more damage can come to a company from megalomania in its executives than from marijuana among the hourly workers.

So even though I have an offer and expect to prepare the paperwork today, opportunities for permanent positions still show up. Yesterday afternoon I received an email from a former colleague whose company may been looking to hire a documentation manager. I have an interview scheduled for next week. This morning another friend alerted me to another management position at a software company in Westborough. I applied for the job. Knowing how long these things can take, I can start the processes now and expect that it might take three or four months for me to get another offer.

Someone described work as the thing you do between layoffs. I hope that's not the case for me, but, having survived this one in good shape, I think I could deal with another layoff with a better attitude. Most importantly I'll appreciate the time at home.

This morning Marley and I went for a (3.5 mile) walk. It is a fine morning for a walk, the temperature in the low 60s. This is a route that I'll often run. It was nice to have the company this time. I listened to old (Peter Green era) Fleetwood Mac on my iPod.

Later this morning I have to go for my drug screening as a part of my new job. They don't test for alcohol or other dangerous habits, just illegal drugs. Don't get me wrong. I've seen the devastation that can come from drugs. Nevertheless, more damage can come to a company from megalomania in its executives than from marijuana among the hourly workers.

Yesterday afternoon I accepted the verbal offer of a writing contract at high-tech company. I will start on 12 July. The contract will run until October. I expect to hear from the HR folks about the paperwork that will make the offer official.

A good friend just accepted a job as a software engineering manager at Amazon.com. How cool is that?

I still have several prospects in the queue that might lead to permanent jobs in a few months. This contract might also lead to a more permanent position. Hiring decisions take a long time these days, so an interview in July might lead to an offer in October. I was extremely fortunate that the requisition for this writing contract had already been approved. That allowed the hiring manager to act quickly. For permanent positions, it's often the case that a hiring manager must get approval to interview candidates and then go through an additional approval cycle to make an offer.

So how do I feel? Relieved, mostly. Relieved and grateful. Having been without real work for many months, I'm also a bit anxious. Will I remember the basics? Will I be able to make a contribution?

And what about this journal? Because I started this project as a way to record how I spent my time while I was out of work, it's most appropriate that I think about retiring this log. It's been fun to write regularly. I will most likely start a new journal with a different theme. Stay tuned.

Today is decision day. I have the one contract offer and am waiting to learn if another offer is in the queue. I could start work as early as 6 July. I'll make the decision this afternoon.

We had a very nice weekend. The Phillipston Historical Society organizes a house and garden tour each year. This year the tour focused on homes near the lake. We saw some wonderful properties, toured the remains of a 19th century textile mill, and had a fine lunch at the former site of the Queen Lake girls' camp.

Sandra's folks have gone back to the island for a few weeks. They'll come down later in July for a doctor's appointment and then return to the island a week or so later. What an ambitious schedule. I get tired just writing about it.

We're planning a Fourth of July party at the camp. We've sketched out the menu. I'll do the shopping this week. Last year's party was a great deal of fun. The long-range forecast calls for good weather on that day. I have a bit of work on the dock to make it ready for the fun. We also assembled a float that we'll anchor in the cove. We'll have Mike, Matt, & Joe stay with us overnight after the party.

An encouraging morning. I had a good meeting with the hiring manager on the aforementioned contract job. The meeting with the project manager had to be postponed, so it may take a day or two to complete the discussions. According to the hiring manager, the job is mine if I want it. Sandra and I will talk about it this weekend and make a decision by Monday. I'll make some calls on Monday to see if any of the other opportunities are likely to become more active. I spoke with one of the other companies and may see an offer soon. These are good problems to have.

Russell Alexander MacGregor, 7 lbs., 3 oz., 20 inches, son of Scott (Sandra's brother) and his wife, Val, was born yesterday afternoon.

Yesterday I received a good lead on a four-month contract job. I will meet with the hiring manager and project leader tomorrow. There are still details to work out, but it's the most promising opportunity that I've had so far. Sandra and I might be able to ride to work together. (There I go, thinking too much about what the job would be like before I have a written offer.)

I'll make some calls on pending jobs to learn if anything is imminent. I would prefer a full-time, permanent job, but hiring decisions are measured in months, not days. Some of the possibilities in my queue now might not lead to a job until October anyway.

The news of the day remains grim. Scores of people dead in Iraq. Bombings in Turkey. Predictions of new terrorist attacks. Last weekend we listened to the news on the radio while driving back from the Cape. It was a worry for the kids more than the adults. I remember lying awake as a kid, worried about nuclear war. Kids these days have fresh dangers from so many sources.

Another rough night of sleep. I am not worried about anything in particular and so don't spend the night thinking about things that might keep me awake. I'm just not sleep. Oh, I'll doze for an hour here and there, but mostly I listen to the BBC, hoping that the same cycle of news stories will, after a time, let me drift off.

So, what's ahead for today? For starters I'll go out for a run. I haven't had a lot of physical activity in the last couple of days, perhaps causing as well as caused by the lack of sleep. I have several follow-up phone calls and emails on the job search. There's also a backlog of filing. I also have a scattered collection of half-read magazines and books. The weather is supposed to be nice today, so perhaps I'll sit outside and read. Yesterday I spent the afternoon in the office, paying bills and taking care of other chores that had been kicking around the in-basket for a while.

Yesterday, the 22nd, as I'd mentioned recently, marked three months out of work. It's been even longer when you consider the amount of time that I spent looking for work inside of IBM. I've learned some lessons about how I got into this. It was pride mostly, pride that didn't let me see what was really going on around me. Maybe that's part of the lesson here as well. I guess you can never go too far wrong if you make humility (and the awareness that it brings) a major life goal.

I think that I'm getting close to the edge of my primary rule in writing this journal - don't tell me what you think; tell me what you did.

Some days start slowly. I didn't sleep well last night and am paying for it today. Energy, my mother used to say, is eternal delight.

After a delightful evening of food and Whiffle Ball at Mike's house on Sunday and a leisurely lunch with Adam yesterday, I can only say that we're truly blessed with a wonderful family.

Last week I had a conversation with a former co-worker who now works at Microsoft. He directed me to a Microsoft web site that describes some very interesting new products focused on software development teams. I've spent an hour or so reading web pages and watching demos of the new products.

It's a cool, clear morning, this first day of summer, about 44F/7C. I needed to start a little fire in the stove, a smudge, as my father calls it. I have kept a couple of windows open a bit to bring in some of this good, fresh air. Summer officially begins at 8:48PM.

We had a delightful trip to the Cape yesterday. Krista and Tess joined us. They were such good company. We played the picnic games. Sandra and the girls sang songs. (With my three-quarter octave rang, I don't sing much.) We played the Anne of Green Gables CD and they sang along. At Barbara's house, the girls were good fun as well. We stayed about four hours, the same amount of time that it takes to drive down and back. On the way home, we were nearly clipped by an driver making a stupid right turn in the Sagamore rotary.

So it's Father's Day. It doesn't carry the same emotional and sentimental payload as Mother's Day, but it's an important day. My relationship with my father has improved greatly over the last few years, particularly the last five. For one thing, we accept each other more, accept our strengths and shortcomings, realizing that we'll change a little, but not much. Sharing the camp has been an important part of that healing. We'll see my father at the camp for coffee mid-day. Later in the afternoon, we'll go to Mike's house for a Whiffle Ball All-Star Game and cookout. I have a sore shoulder (rotator cuff) that doesn't let me throw as well I'd like, but I'll have fun all the same. I hope to talk with Adam by phone this evening.

This week marks three months since my job went away. With the interviews and other activity that accompanied the start of my layoff, I hadn't expected that I'd be out of work for three months. Although I've not completed major projects, I have, for the most part, spent the time wisely. How so? Bringing stability back to my life, being able to take on some of the sometimes unspectacular tasks that make a household run smoothly - get to the post office, pay the bills, be at home when the electrician comes. Then we'll have the challenge of maintaining that balance when I return to work. Some of the jobs that I am seeking have a long commute and long hours or a great deal of travel. This is part of the calculus that goes into the evaluation of any job offer. Not only do I have to think about the compensation (salary, benefits, etc.), but also the costs of work (commute, travel, number of hours, working conditions). Of course, I never forget what a luxury it is to be able to consider such things. There are many people in this country and countless others elsewhere in the world who have little choice in what they do to make a living. I am deeply grateful for the opportunities that come from my being who I am and where I am.

Sandra's parents have gone to the Cape for the weekend, so we're babysitting their dog, Molly. She's a lively, nine-month yellow Lab. Our dog, Marley, is more than eight years old. The difference in energy levels is quite dramatic. Marley can run around the yard once and then needs to come in for a rest; Molly can keep going for a long, long time.

Grandson Michael graduates from the eighth grade today. We'll not go to the graduation; seating is quite limited. He's looking forward to playing freshman football next year. Last night he and his sister, Krista, performed wonderfully at their annual piano recital at the town hall. They are truly talented. It's exciting to watch their skills develop. They worked hard this year. We didn't get to granddaughter Lily's ballet recital last weekend, but I did talk about it on the phone with her. Great kid.

We'll go to the Cape tomorrow for a combination celebration of Father's Day and the upcoming birth of Russell Alexander Dias MacGregor, the first child for Sandra's brother, Scott, and his wife, Val.

These family events have been fun and a great way to change the subject. Thoughts and talk unemployment and the job search can fill a room pretty quickly, so it's good to be with children.

As it's been pretty much throughout this time, I have some interesting prospects in the queue. Until there's something on paper, though, I will keep up the search. I have many good friends working on my behalf. I'm very grateful.

We've slipped into a different time, learning how to care for our parents in new and different ways. As Sandra's mother observed, we're having to think about things that we didn't have to think about before and we don't always like it. But, think and do we must.

It's been good that I've been around. I don't know what this means in terms of my next job, how much travel will be ok, how long a commute. It would be wonderful to have a work-at-home job. It would be even better not to need a job, but we're not in a position for that, at least not yet.

Today I'll reschedule the phone calls that I missed on Monday. I've heard that there have been some reorganizations at IBM that may be affecting some people I know. I'll try to make contact with them. I'll also donate blood at UMass. The day will fill up quickly, I'm sure.

A quick note. My father fell yesterday and spent the night in Leominster Hospital. The only visible injury is a massive shiner on the right side of his face. The CAT scan disclosed an old blood clot on the left side of his head that's probably unrelated to this fall. As expected, he was not happy being confined at the hospital. I drove him home mid-day today. (He'd driven himself to the hospital. Sandra and I will deliver his car to his house later today.) It's a worry, but he's more resilient than most folks half his age. Stay tuned on this, though.