And the word from the middle seat is "Moo."

The early morning rain had changed to a heavy wet snow by the time that the meetings concluded at noon. Many people, particularly those from the south and west, were quite anxious about driving in the snow. On the highways, the snow was just slushy and melted as soon as the tires hit it.

Without a remote car starter, I never would have found my rental car. It's bad enough that the Hyudais and Chevys and Tauri look pretty much alike, but, covered in snow, they all looked like the same lumps.

Interstate 90 west of Chicago is a toll road. At the exit ramp to O'Hare, there are three toll collection stations. Two are designated for iPass users. iPass is an electronic toll-paying system similar to FastLane in Massachusetts and EZ-Pass in New York. (In New Hampshire, I think you still pay with chickens.) The middle lane is a coin-collection basket. You're supposed to toss in the exact change. If you arrive at the exit ramp with no change, there is no way to get change. You are supposed to write down a number (while people are in back of you, honking), drive through, and then call that number within six days to avoid getting a ticket.

With luck, I got to the airport in good time and was able to get on an early flight, but a flight that was completely full. We were herded onto the plane with minimal use of cattle prods.

It's easy not to like some of my fellow travelers, such as the ones who jam two big suitcases into the overhead bins so that those who arrive later have to have their bags checked. There's also the trick of putting your bags into the first available spot in the overhead bins and then walking back to your seat. That way, the people in the front of the plane have to go back to get their bags when it's time to get off of the plane.

We received a snack, something with BBQ soy nuts and a bunch of multi-syllabic additives, including not more than 2% silicon dioxide. But, the coffee was Starbuck's, better than the industrial-strength motor oil that other airlines offer.

We had a delightfully smooth landing and taxied to the gate amid the beeps and peeps and boops of cell phones coming on.

I had parked in Central Parking in row 3-T. From the stairs, I went to row 3-M and onward. They skipped O and resumed with P. Q. R. S. Y. Y? Y?! I'm standing in a darkened parking garage in a land where they've repealed the Roman alphabet.

I walked around for several minutes before discovering another corner with a row marked 3-Z. I looked back toward the terminal and saw rows Y, X, W, V, and in the far, far reaches, from which the light left last Tuesday, I see row 3-T.

Once I was in my car and driving out of the parking lot, I could breathe easily and appreciate the stunningly bizarre parking techniques that my fellow travelers employ. They parked in places that were not only illegal, but incomprehensible - jammed between concrete pillar and walls such that the only way out of the car is through the moon roof.

Sandra and Marley greeted me in the driveway on a very balmy night. The foot of snow that I'd left behind was patchy and almost gone. We went in for a fine supper that didn't have a trace of silicon dixoide. Even if it did, there's no place like home.

Emptying the suitcase before going home

We have meetings until noon today. I'm going to go to the airport early with the hopes of getting on an earlier flight home. I have one conference call in the early afternoon, but I can call in from the airport.

Friday the 13ths are good days to spend a while wandering the net, looking for new Pogo resources. Not a lot new this time around, but the Wikipedia summary is getting better.

This prejudice map is based on a Google query for an ethnic or other type of group, identifying what a group is known for: "germans are known for *", for example. Here's one for Finns and another for Mainers.

This may be of interest only to folks in the Boston area and maybe not even then. Charles Laquidara is returning to local radio with a one-hour segment on WBOS. No word about Duane.

So, Levi's is bringing out a line of iPod-controlling jeans. Some items don't need a punch line.

I've been alternating between sleeping too little to sleeping too much. I'm on the too-much phase right now. If the too-little part of the cycle returns, I'll try out these tips. (Recent studies have indicated that the tryotophan in turkey is not likely to make us sleepy.)

As the disclaimer notes, don't try this at home. (Thanks to Dave Barry's blog.)

By the time we got to Nerdstock ...

The sun has broken through, revealing a landscape that is as bleak as it was when the weather was cloudy. These are flat lands where, as the saying goes, you can watch your dog run away from home for two days. There are small ponds by the sides of the roads, created when the roads were builts. The ponds are covered with ice, but there's no snow to be seen.

So, we are crowded in small conference rooms, everyone straining to get their power cords and network cables plugged in, as though to breathe. The people are smart, very smart, jaw-droppingly, head-spinningly smart. Most of the language isn't words, but acronyms and other abbreviations: GPON, TDM, WIPM, etc. I keep a notepad full of these things and when no one's looking, I use Google to find out what they mean. One person asked for the definition of an abbreviation. He got the answer, but someone in the room laughed. No one has asked since.

The meetings last from eight or nine in the morning until five in evening. Our hosts provide lunches for our noon break. In all, there are about 500 people attending these meetings, including the five of us from our company. On the first day, we were late getting to the table where they handed out the box lunches. All that was left was a stack of vegetarian lunches. We weren't going to let that happen again. Yesterday, 200 people were lined up at 11:20.

After the sessions close, I go to a local supermarket to buy something for supper and go back to the hotel. The others go out to dinner and likely hang around for drinks afterwards. I have other work to do. I can get a lot done on the Blackberry, but I can't edit large documents.

I am scheduled to come here three more times in the next few months. I'm glad that I'm here. I'm getting to learn the business and the technology in ways that I couldn't otherwise. This amount of travel, however, is hard on us all, particularly on special days.

Happy 10th Birthday, Krista.

Slouching toward Schaumburg

When I arrived at the ticket counter and learned that I would have to get my seat assignment at the gate, I knew that the flight to Chicago was full to overflowing. I checked in my suitcase because I was pretty sure that there wouldn't be any space available in the overhead bins.

The business travelers are easy to pick out in the lines at the security gates. They're the ones who have put their cell phones, pens, and spare change into their briefcase, are wearing shoes that are easy on and easy off, and have carry-on luggage that fits nicely into the x-ray machines. When it's done well, it's a joy to watch. It's not often done well, so the lines are long.

When I got to the gate, there was an announcement requesting people to give up their seats in exchange for a free ticket and an upgrade on the next flight out. I double-checked my schedule and learned that I didn't need to be at the customer site until noon. I could take the 8:00 flight, first class, and get there in plenty of time. So, I'm sleeping at home tonight instead of in a hotel in a chilly Chicago suburb (Hoffman Estates, right next to Schaumburg). I'll be on my way early. A night at home is worth it, even if it's a short night.

My suitcase is in O'Hare Airport.

How do you throw away a trash can?

The Patriots have had a season of winning ugly, playing just well enough not to lose. Unlike diving or skating, you don't get points in football for style; you get points for points, however you get them.

This past week, Robin Williams appeared at the Consumer Electronics Show with Larry Page from Google. A few times, I've seen Williams and Jonathan Winters on the same TV show. For a brief moment, the earth spins in the opposite direction.

We have a light snow falling, just enough to cover the icy patches on the driveway. We'll get some pseudo-salt out there before Woody and Marian go off to church.

We have a new trash barrel for our kitchen, meaning that we also now have a old trash barrel. We already have barrels for bird seed, stove ashes, kindling, and baseball bats. Besides, the old one is pretty far gone. We'll put it out with the other recyclables and hope that they take it away. Otherwise, we'll have to put inside a very big trash bag and have it taken away with the regular haul. See, this why life in the suburbs is so thrilling. No worries of war or plague or natural disasters. Just let me throw away stuff that I have too much of.