Why Holden needs three national pharmacy chains

Another in the occasional series about Holden's need for three national pharmacy chains.

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The irresistible impulse of retailers to anchor their businesses to holidays or themes shows up this week in premature back-to-school promotions. Even with temperatures hitting their stride, it's never too early to diminish kids' summertime joy.
Walgreens puts their sales on the first page of their local weekly ad.

Rite-Aid exercises comparative restraint by sneaking theirs onto the bottom page.

Only CVS wins the point by having no back-to-school sale yet. Instead, you can get free gas with your high-fiber cereal.

Why Holden needs three national pharmacy chains.

Another in the occasional series about Holden's need for three national pharmacy chains.
This edition focuses on how the pharmacy chains are helping our fair townspeople celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, by the sharing of gifts.
'Cuz nothing says I love the Baby Jesus like the Turbo Snake at CVS.

But, Mom might need something special, so let's go to Rite-Aid.

If those don't seem just right, you can just give your loved one some breath mints from Walgreens. I'm sure they'll appreciate the thought.

Why Holden needs three national pharmacy chains

Another in the occasional series about Holden's need for three national pharmacy chains.
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It's not easy to figure out which is the better value for a pre-paid Visa card.
Walgreens charges a flat $3.99.

Rite-Aid charges more, but gives you a credit for that amount if you use the card in their store.

Whichever one you choose, you can use your card at CVS, particularly if you want the hair of your black girl to look more like a white girl's:

For more information, see Soft & Beautiful - Just For Me! - No-Lye Relaxer for Children

Why Holden needs three national pharmacy chains

Special Father's Day edition of the occasional series about Holden's need for three national pharmacy chains.

via DNA Paternity Test | Walgreens

Mother's Day edition of Why Holden needs three national pharmacy chains

Another in the occasional series about Holden's need for three national pharmacy chains.
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Because we need three stores to give us opportunities to buy stuff for Mom that is sure to make her wonder what kind of kid would give a mother stuff such as this.

Yes, Mom wants to know that she needs to be stuffed into a smaller size except for the parts that need to seem larger:

via Walgreens.com - Local Weekly Ad

My mother didn't do well with house plants. As a joke, I think, my father bought her a cactus. Guess how much she liked the joke.

via CVS - Store Circular Online
And, finally, who wouldn't want to give Mom some of these special products?

via Rite Aid : Weekly Circular : Single Page View

Why Holden needs three national pharmacy chains

Another in the occasional series about Holden's need for three national pharmacy chains.
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Nothing says the resurrection of Jesus proves His victory over sin and death like a bucket of Flarp! in your child's Easter basket.

via Walgreens.com - Local Weekly Ad - Sunday, Mar 28, 2010

Meanwhile, at the other stores, you can get a better deal on Gimbal's Jelly Beans at CVS (2 for $4) than at Rite-Aid (2 for $5).

Only at Rite-Aid, however, can you get a copy of the latest Sherlock Holmes movie for "a vibrant and colorful Easter"

Why Holden needs three national pharmacy chains

Another in the occasional series about Holden's need for three national pharmacy chains.
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Nothing says the resurrection of Jesus proves His victory over sin and death like a bucket of Flarp! in your child's Easter basket.

via Walgreens.com - Local Weekly Ad - Sunday, Mar 28, 2010

Meanwhile, at the other stores, you can get a better deal on Gimbal's Jelly Beans at CVS (2 for $4) than at Rite-Aid (2 for $5).

Only at Rite-Aid, however, can you get a copy of the latest Sherlock Holmes movie for "a vibrant and colorful Easter"

Why Holden needs three pharmacy chains

Not only do we get Literary Links that lead to CVS, we also get paper towels for cheap. (Walgreens has a slight price edge.)

via Paper towel Ratings (subscription required)

Meanwhile, it's a real test of our love of Baby Jesus that we do our shopping at a place that has a creepy reindeer presiding over it all:

via Rite-Aid circular for 11/29/2009 thru 12/05/2009

Why Holden needs three pharmacy chains - week of 23 Nov

Just a reminder that the folks of Holden are struggling along, bearingup under great privation, with only two national pharmacy chains (Rite-Aid and CVS) in town. A third, Walgreens, is under construction on Main Street.

Rite-Aid, with the slogan, and I'm not making this up, Rite Aid Pharmacy - With Us, It's Personal, is offering some creepy male enhancement products.

In the meantime, CVS is offering a Complete Multi-purpose solution, although they don't say a solution to what. It's only as you read the tiny, tiny print do you see that it's a contact lens solution. To think, we almost had a complete solution.

Anyway, the guy who has the, ahem, enhancement products and a complete solution, so that he can see clearly, now needs to look cool, eh? Well, if there was a Walgreens in town, there'd be no problem cuz he could get a set of Coor's Light slippers.

How cool is that? Yeah, about that cool. Bring on the Snoopy boxer shorts and there's no stopping the guy.

That is, if only there was a Walgreens in town.

Why Holden needs three pharmacy chains

Just a reminder that the folks of Holden are struggling along, bearing up under great privation, with only two national pharmacy chains in town.

Consider, if you will, that people can get the No!No! hair removal system at CVS for only $250. Nice, huh? You'll get 64% less hair regrowth.



So, you're gonna want to celebrate that hair removal. To do so, you'd better be packin' some Drinkin' Mate Hangover Defense. Not only does Rite-Aid carry this miracle cure, with the single-check rebate, you can get it for free.



But, then, you've got to be able to tell your friends the good news, eh? Sure. To do that, you need a phone. And not just any old AT&T, Nokia, or Blackberry phone. Nope. You need a *Licensed* phone that has M&Ms or Hanna Montana on it. To get such a phone, you need Walgreens.