Time for serious intervention

Some friends have been awaiting the birth of their second grandchild. The second grandchild seems not to be in a hurry. Another member of our extended family is expecting her third. There will be a small baby shower (a "sprinkle") this coming weekend.
For these and other modern expectant mothers who are growing in their impatience, there's a patented device that might provide some help:

APPARATUS FOR FACILITATING THE BIRTH ... - Google Patent Search

Modern women, it seems, aren't ready for childbirth.

In the case of a woman who has a fully developed muscular system and has had ample physical exertion all through the pregnancy, as is common with all more primitive peoples, nature provides all the necessary equipment and power to have a normal and quick delivery. This is not the case, however, with more civilized women who often do not have the opportunity to develop the muscles needed in confinement.
In accordance with the invention, there is provided rotatable apparatus capable of subjecting the mother and the fetus to a centrifugal force directed to assist and supplement the efforts of the mother so that such centrifugal force and her efforts act in concert to overcome the action of resisting forces and facilitate the delivery of the child.
from the the patent description.

via Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force - Boing Boing

A night across town

Sandra's sister, Barbara, is staying the night with Marian. We, in turn, decamped and headed across town to stay with Tess and Miss Cassie, giving Mike and Lynn a night to themselves.
Cassie'd started planning our time since she first heard that we'd be staying over. We'd walk to Friendly's for supper and, the next morning, drive out to Rutland to the transplanted K/P's for breakfast. She loves it that they put whipped cream on pancakes, the pancakes being pretty much just the delivery vehicle for the whipped cream.
The evening weather couldn't have been better, fresh and clear after the recent steam. We walked up to and around the complex of buildings atop the hill. Sandra showed the the window to the room to where Mike had been born when the building had been Holden Hospital.
You see things differently when you're a kid, paths where adults see none. Rather than taking the long way around the road, we followed a path over the stone wall and down the lawn to Friendly's.
During supper, we told stories of our summer so far, of Tess's friend from Clara Barton Camp who lives in Brooklyn and who wrote a genuine USPS letter. They marveled that I used to work at the Friendly's in Gardner, cooking dinosaur burgers and pterodactyl eggs for the grunting masses.

Unless you're with a five-year-old, you'd rarely thinking of skipping along the sidewalk. But skip we did, for varying values of we. (Sandra and Cassie skipped while Tess and I followed at a respectful distance.)

We tested the acoustics of the gazebo with serious and light-hearted songs. (I am prohibited by statute from singing in public, but did manage a few lines of The Lumberjack Song for old time's sake.)

And then it was on to home. I watched the Red Sox and while the ladyfolk enjoyed Cinderella on the big screen.

At bedtime, Cassie and I looked for, but could not find, the Jasmine doll that she absolutely had to have before she could sleep in peace. Not the little figurine nor the other two Jasmines, but one in particular who'd gone missing. She said her prayers through her tears and then was quiet and then asleep. In a short while, we were as well.

Crime in suburbia

From The Landmark (subscription required):

[Editor's note: There were just 4 suspicious items this week.]

Holden

Monday, July 26

8:52 p.m. Suspicious person in black clothing behind residence, Manning St.
10:16 p.m. Several teens at restaurant causing disturbance, Main St.; told to leave
10:56 p.m. Port-a-potty tipped over, Larkspur Rd.

Tuesday, July 27

5:02 p.m. Child bitten in face by neighbor’s dog, Brennan Way

Wednesday, July 28

7:25 p.m. Two males taking things from home under construction, Mixter Rd.
8:37 p.m. Gun shots, South Rd.

Thursday, July 29

8:03 a.m. Drilling rig vandalized, Quinapoxet St.
3:34 p.m. Black bear in yard, Main St.
9:16 p.m. Loud construction equipment, Mixter Rd.
11:35 p.m. Caller wants to file complaint against PD for towing vehicle

Friday, July 30

9:38 a.m. Several calls regarding black bear, Wachusett St.
4:10 p.m. Bear at Trout Brook, Manning St.; everyone removed from area
10:01 p.m. Bat in house; advised to call pest control

Saturday, July 31

8:54 p.m. Trailer came unhooked, Chapel St.

Sunday, August 1

1:49 p.m. Black bear in yard, North St.; advised to keep kids/pets inside
4:36 p.m. Two males going door-to-door, Mark Bradford Dr.
10:39 p.m. Youths setting off fireworks, Mt. View Dr.

Paxton

Tuesday, July 27

4:53 p.m. Criminal complaint for unregistered, uninsured vehicle, operation of vehicle with revoked registration, West St.

Wednesday, July 28

7:50 a.m. Request for officer to escort individual to rental property, Ridgewood Rd.
10:04 a.m. Former tenants at caller’s home, requests officer, Ridgewood Rd.

Friday, July 30

9:50 a.m. Bird hung up on fishing line near pond, West St. Firefighter rescued bird
7:07 p.m. Leicester PD requests animal control officer regarding rabid raccoon

Saturday, July 31

1:44 p.m. Two horses loose in middle of Richards Ave.
8:27 p.m. Possible burning of construction materials, West St.
8:35 p.m. Speak to group of youths about trash around basketball courts, West St.
9:04 p.m. Family argument, officer requested, Streeter Rd.
9:40 p.m. Fireworks, West St.

Sunday, August 1

4:35 p.m. Keys in door of building with no one around, Pleasant St.

Princeton

Monday, July 26

7:26 a.m. Stone walls at Beaman/Hobbs Rds. being dismantled. Police tell them cease and desist
11:31 a.m. Report of lynx in back yard, Coal Kiln Rd.

Tuesday, July 27

2:07 p.m.Bottles thrown from window, Hubbardston Rd.

Wednesday, July 28

1:51 p.m. IPod found in cemetery, Connor Ln.
9:39 p.m. Gunshots, Hickory Dr.

Thursday, July 29

11:33 a.m. Annoying phone calls, Main St.
12:56 p.m. Keys lost, Worcester Rd.
7:13 p.m. Request for police to remove person from Wachusett Mtn.

Friday, July 30

12:06 a.m. Motor vehicle accident, Greene Rd., vehicle found, no occupants. K-9 unit requested from Westminster. Vehicle owner found
3:03 a.m. IPod found at accident scene, Mountain Rd.

Saturday, July 31

8:47 p.m. Gun shots, Old Colony Rd. area
9:12 p.m. Narcotics, three vehicles parked on Old Colony Rd.

Sunday, August 1

6:21 p.m. Dog found lying in mulch, Worcester Rd.
7:08 p.m. Two dirt bikes on Up Road to summit of mountain
8:38 p.m. Vehicle locked behind gate, Mountain Rd.

Rutland

Monday, July 26

12:37 p.m. Problem with local business

Tuesday, July 27

12:25 a.m. Suspicious vehicle, Barre Paxton Rd.
8:47 a.m. Black bear in yard, Clealand Cir.
12:23 p.m. Problem with neighbor
2:27 p.m. Suspicious red pick-up; assessors’ officer.
3:35 p.m. Black bear in driveway, Horizon Rd.
8:43 p.m. Dirtbike on Rail Trail, Pommogussett Rd.

Wednesday, July 28

8:24 a.m. Black bear, Clealand Cir., Environmental Police called
2:30 p.m. Numerous calls reporting black bear activity

Thursday, July 29

9:20 a.m. Orange and black bike in bushes, Main St.
1:27 p.m. Parent wants officer to speak with his 3-yr.-old boy about crawling out of car seat
1:43 p.m. Truck lost load of crushed stone, Barre Paxton Rd. DPW will handle for Mass Highway

Friday, July 30

1:20 p.m. Female wants to fight woman
8:21 p.m. Two retrievers in yard, Jonathan Cir.
9:50 p.m. Loud party, Dakota Trail

Saturday, July 31

6:24 a.m. Two cows in Pommogussett Rd.
9:41 a.m. Gunshots Barre Paxton Rd.

Sunday, August 1

9:28 a.m. Dog stuck in swamp, Jamie Ann Dr.
12:29 p.m. Trash falling out of red pick-up, Main St.
10:53 p.m. Loud noises, Bushy Ln.

Sterling

Tuesday, July 27

1:39 p.m. Vehicle driving slowly, taking photos, Belmont Dr.
11:12 p.m. Car with flashing lights, beeping horn, Beaman Rd.

Wednesday, July 28

1:03 p.m. Horns sounding Redemption Rock Trl.
8:25 p.m. Neighbor dispute over trash dumping and fencing, Chestnut Ave.

Thursday, July 29

8:03 p.m. Large group of loitering youths, Worcester Rd.

Friday, July 30

10:47 a.m. Owner trying to catch llama, Ford Rd.
3:54 p.m. Two gray foxes in her yard, Redemption Rock Trl.
8:50 p.m. Fireworks, Wilder Rd.
10:35 p.m. Person hit dog, Maple/Bird Sts.

Saturday, July 31

1:28 a.m. Pool party noise complaint, Heywood Rd.
9:30 a.m. Dog barking for several hours, Griffin Rd.
12:46 p.m. Suspicious men in vehicle trying to sell contractor tools, Rugg Rd.
1:50 p.m. Black bear seen, Legg Rd.
2:58 p.m. Skateboarders surrounded vehicle and yelled obscenities at driver, Maple/Bridge Sts.

Sunday, August 1

12:59 a.m. People arguing, Laurelwood Rd.
9:03 a.m. Disturbance, construction work, Williams St.

Taxi guy's spirit captcha'd

It's good to see Jeff back on the air. We've missed his voice.
This morning, he posted a brief note, Wormtown Taxi: The Tennis Court, about the now-infamous tennis court in Worcester. (See Telegram article, City has advantage in tennis court dispute, for details.)
When I went to Jeff's blog to post a comment, I was presented with this Captcha image. 

Re: the mosque in New York City

The arguments against the mosque a few blocks from the site of the 9/11 attack in New York  (background here) are two-fold:

• A procedural argument that the New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission erred when it declared that the building on the proposed site is not of historical value and could therefore be torn down.
• Islamic terrorists attacked us. Here, for example, is a note from a press release from the American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ), founded by Pat Robertson. The ACLJ has filed suit to prevent the mosque from being built:
  Opponents of the Ground Zero mosque proposal argue that it is insensitive to build just two blocks from spot where the Twin Towers once stood a place of worship to the same religion that 9/11 terrorists cite as their motivation for the attacks.

Should we then not permit Roman Catholic churches near schools because a few priests are pedophiles?

Dept. of "I'm just sayin'" - sports edition

Is the world better off because we've given these guys this much money in the past year?

via 2010 Fortunate 50 - SI.com
And, as you scan the list, you have to wonder what players with real talent would be making. How much would you have to pay Willie Mays, Ted Williams, Bill Russell, Larry Bird, Jim Brown, Joe Namath, Bobby Orr, and the like? 

Headline writers, be careful

A study published in the August 4 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association indicates that a 35-minute treatment program, implemented in hospital's emergency departments, can result in a reduction of violent behavior and alcohol misuse. A good outcome, indeed.
The title of the article is Effects of a Brief Intervention for Reducing Violence and Alcohol Misuse Among Adolescents.
So far, so good.
Now, the commonly-used abbreviation for emergency department is ED, with the result that a headline writer at Medscape (free registration required to read article) used the following: ED Intervention May Reduce Aggression, Alcohol-Related Outcomes in Teens.

An earlier announcement on clinicaltrials.gov used this title: ED Intervention to Reduce Risky Behaviors in Drivers.
ED, of course, is also a commonly-used euphemistic abbreviation for another, um, condition. (No links are required here. All you have to do is sit down to watch a TV show with your parents or children in the room and wait for the awkward silence when the advertisements start.)
A lifetime spent sharing the roads with Massachusetts drivers leads me to suspect that some kind of ED intervention might indeed reduce aggressive and risk driving. 
Your mileage may vary.

Ask not and all that

As a card-carrying liberal, I'm obliged to believe that collective action (i.e., government) can bring much good to many people. As a guy trying to get a couple of things done (sign up for fall classes at a local community college, sign up for Medicare), I get close to the idea of term limits for administrative personnel.
First off, I do have to note that there are some truly spectacular performers who work for government agencies. My advisor at school is a class act - a knowledgeable teacher with a commitment to quality education, compassion, and good humor. Another person in another agency remembers critical details about my life, speaks to those circumstances with respect and concern, and does good things on my behalf.
The three people who staffed the windows at the college, however, worked very hard at the task of doing nothing useful and making it seem as though it was my fault. They talked among themselves when they could, looked down at stack of papers rather than up at the people waiting for help, asked arcane questions, and gave orthogonal answers.
(Although this piece, Colleges serve the people who work there more than the students who desperately need to learn something., focuses more on academic practices, the attitudes certainly trickle down to the front lines.)
The Gardner Social Security office is tucked into a corner of the former Heywood-Wakefield building complex. A police officer sits at a desk in the corner of the very small waiting room.The signs warning about the symptoms of H1N1 outnumber all of the other signs. You use a touch screen get a deli counter ticket.
When my number was called, I went up to the window, took a seat, and explained my mission and circumstances. The person behind the counter told me that the person who usually does this was out to lunch. She then said that if I wanted to have Medicare Part B start on October, I couldn't fill out the forms now. "This is way too early," she said.
"I need a red pen," she said, fumbling around the desk. (This wasn't her regular desk. and she didn't know where anything was.)
I handed her my red Pilot^® pen. "Is this red?" she asked. She used the red pen to write SEP in red on the top of the page. She used blue ink for the rest of the form.
, in She sternly warned me not to sign or date the piece of paper she filled out and then said that I had to deliver it to the Worcester office anyway.

I can accept that people in government (and in business and in life) make bad decisions that cost us money and waste our time. (Stimulus Slammed: Republican Senators Release Report Alleging Waste - ABC News). We're all gonna make mistakes, big ones for sure.
I have more trouble with bad attitudes. At least try to pretend that it's not all about you.

Dept. of "I'm just sayin'"

Is the world better off because we've given these guys this much money in the past decade?

via The Decade's 25 Top Earners - The Wall Street Journal Online - Interactive Graphics

Then, of course, Mr. Boffo explains it all.

More on non-canine dog food

The phrase "eating your own dog food" has been around for a long time. It refers to the practice in the software world of using the products that you develop to help ensure that they're ready for the real world. (More about dog food history here, Eating your own dog food in the 1960s .)
Aron Ain , the CEO of Kronos, Inc. was interviewed for an article in yesterday's Boston Globe business section. His company makes a wide range of highly-regarded workforce management software products, stuff that helps you manage various aspect of your HR and business operations.
A popular new product is called Kronos Retail Labor Index. Ain describes it this way:

The Retail Labor Index is meant to measure over time how many people are applying through our [job application] tool at thousands of locations . . . and how many of those they end up hiring. . . .

Sounds great.
In 2009, Kronos had to lay off 250 workers because of the downturn in the U.S. economy. Asked how many of those people were hired back, Ain replied, "I don’t know." He went on to say that people moved around, that there were jobs in different geographical areas, and so on.
If only there was a product that could keep track of who applied for what jobs in what locations....

Hurricane preparedness

New Englanders will go through an elaborate drill this evening to make sure that our emergency weather nerds are at the ready,

via http://ares.ema.arrl.org/local/2010_Hurricane_Hudson_Mass_Drill_Participants_Doc_Rev_1.pdf
The purpose of the simulation?

To exercise communication networks during the response phase of a severe storm scenario in the face of significant infrastructure damage to landline and cellular telephone, and loss of commercial power. EMA’s should strive to report damage assessments to state and federal authorities before and simultaneously with resource requests. EMA Managers are also encouraged to practice simulated recovery operations at their discretion as a training opportunity.

Meanwhile, the folks in Florida, where hurricanes hit often, know that the most important thing to do is to close the bars.

Of course, Floridians don't accept the idea that you should ride out the storm without booze:

"You're going to watch your kids there [at home] with no air-conditioning as your food's rotting, and you're really not going to drink?" [one bartender] asked. "There would be a revolt."