An encouraging morning. I had a good meeting with the hiring manager on the aforementioned contract job. The meeting with the project manager had to be postponed, so it may take a day or two to complete the discussions. According to the hiring manager, the job is mine if I want it. Sandra and I will talk about it this weekend and make a decision by Monday. I'll make some calls on Monday to see if any of the other opportunities are likely to become more active. I spoke with one of the other companies and may see an offer soon. These are good problems to have.

Russell Alexander MacGregor, 7 lbs., 3 oz., 20 inches, son of Scott (Sandra's brother) and his wife, Val, was born yesterday afternoon.

Yesterday I received a good lead on a four-month contract job. I will meet with the hiring manager and project leader tomorrow. There are still details to work out, but it's the most promising opportunity that I've had so far. Sandra and I might be able to ride to work together. (There I go, thinking too much about what the job would be like before I have a written offer.)

I'll make some calls on pending jobs to learn if anything is imminent. I would prefer a full-time, permanent job, but hiring decisions are measured in months, not days. Some of the possibilities in my queue now might not lead to a job until October anyway.

The news of the day remains grim. Scores of people dead in Iraq. Bombings in Turkey. Predictions of new terrorist attacks. Last weekend we listened to the news on the radio while driving back from the Cape. It was a worry for the kids more than the adults. I remember lying awake as a kid, worried about nuclear war. Kids these days have fresh dangers from so many sources.

Another rough night of sleep. I am not worried about anything in particular and so don't spend the night thinking about things that might keep me awake. I'm just not sleep. Oh, I'll doze for an hour here and there, but mostly I listen to the BBC, hoping that the same cycle of news stories will, after a time, let me drift off.

So, what's ahead for today? For starters I'll go out for a run. I haven't had a lot of physical activity in the last couple of days, perhaps causing as well as caused by the lack of sleep. I have several follow-up phone calls and emails on the job search. There's also a backlog of filing. I also have a scattered collection of half-read magazines and books. The weather is supposed to be nice today, so perhaps I'll sit outside and read. Yesterday I spent the afternoon in the office, paying bills and taking care of other chores that had been kicking around the in-basket for a while.

Yesterday, the 22nd, as I'd mentioned recently, marked three months out of work. It's been even longer when you consider the amount of time that I spent looking for work inside of IBM. I've learned some lessons about how I got into this. It was pride mostly, pride that didn't let me see what was really going on around me. Maybe that's part of the lesson here as well. I guess you can never go too far wrong if you make humility (and the awareness that it brings) a major life goal.

I think that I'm getting close to the edge of my primary rule in writing this journal - don't tell me what you think; tell me what you did.

Some days start slowly. I didn't sleep well last night and am paying for it today. Energy, my mother used to say, is eternal delight.

After a delightful evening of food and Whiffle Ball at Mike's house on Sunday and a leisurely lunch with Adam yesterday, I can only say that we're truly blessed with a wonderful family.

Last week I had a conversation with a former co-worker who now works at Microsoft. He directed me to a Microsoft web site that describes some very interesting new products focused on software development teams. I've spent an hour or so reading web pages and watching demos of the new products.

It's a cool, clear morning, this first day of summer, about 44F/7C. I needed to start a little fire in the stove, a smudge, as my father calls it. I have kept a couple of windows open a bit to bring in some of this good, fresh air. Summer officially begins at 8:48PM.

We had a delightful trip to the Cape yesterday. Krista and Tess joined us. They were such good company. We played the picnic games. Sandra and the girls sang songs. (With my three-quarter octave rang, I don't sing much.) We played the Anne of Green Gables CD and they sang along. At Barbara's house, the girls were good fun as well. We stayed about four hours, the same amount of time that it takes to drive down and back. On the way home, we were nearly clipped by an driver making a stupid right turn in the Sagamore rotary.

So it's Father's Day. It doesn't carry the same emotional and sentimental payload as Mother's Day, but it's an important day. My relationship with my father has improved greatly over the last few years, particularly the last five. For one thing, we accept each other more, accept our strengths and shortcomings, realizing that we'll change a little, but not much. Sharing the camp has been an important part of that healing. We'll see my father at the camp for coffee mid-day. Later in the afternoon, we'll go to Mike's house for a Whiffle Ball All-Star Game and cookout. I have a sore shoulder (rotator cuff) that doesn't let me throw as well I'd like, but I'll have fun all the same. I hope to talk with Adam by phone this evening.

This week marks three months since my job went away. With the interviews and other activity that accompanied the start of my layoff, I hadn't expected that I'd be out of work for three months. Although I've not completed major projects, I have, for the most part, spent the time wisely. How so? Bringing stability back to my life, being able to take on some of the sometimes unspectacular tasks that make a household run smoothly - get to the post office, pay the bills, be at home when the electrician comes. Then we'll have the challenge of maintaining that balance when I return to work. Some of the jobs that I am seeking have a long commute and long hours or a great deal of travel. This is part of the calculus that goes into the evaluation of any job offer. Not only do I have to think about the compensation (salary, benefits, etc.), but also the costs of work (commute, travel, number of hours, working conditions). Of course, I never forget what a luxury it is to be able to consider such things. There are many people in this country and countless others elsewhere in the world who have little choice in what they do to make a living. I am deeply grateful for the opportunities that come from my being who I am and where I am.

Sandra's parents have gone to the Cape for the weekend, so we're babysitting their dog, Molly. She's a lively, nine-month yellow Lab. Our dog, Marley, is more than eight years old. The difference in energy levels is quite dramatic. Marley can run around the yard once and then needs to come in for a rest; Molly can keep going for a long, long time.

Grandson Michael graduates from the eighth grade today. We'll not go to the graduation; seating is quite limited. He's looking forward to playing freshman football next year. Last night he and his sister, Krista, performed wonderfully at their annual piano recital at the town hall. They are truly talented. It's exciting to watch their skills develop. They worked hard this year. We didn't get to granddaughter Lily's ballet recital last weekend, but I did talk about it on the phone with her. Great kid.

We'll go to the Cape tomorrow for a combination celebration of Father's Day and the upcoming birth of Russell Alexander Dias MacGregor, the first child for Sandra's brother, Scott, and his wife, Val.

These family events have been fun and a great way to change the subject. Thoughts and talk unemployment and the job search can fill a room pretty quickly, so it's good to be with children.

As it's been pretty much throughout this time, I have some interesting prospects in the queue. Until there's something on paper, though, I will keep up the search. I have many good friends working on my behalf. I'm very grateful.

We've slipped into a different time, learning how to care for our parents in new and different ways. As Sandra's mother observed, we're having to think about things that we didn't have to think about before and we don't always like it. But, think and do we must.

It's been good that I've been around. I don't know what this means in terms of my next job, how much travel will be ok, how long a commute. It would be wonderful to have a work-at-home job. It would be even better not to need a job, but we're not in a position for that, at least not yet.

Today I'll reschedule the phone calls that I missed on Monday. I've heard that there have been some reorganizations at IBM that may be affecting some people I know. I'll try to make contact with them. I'll also donate blood at UMass. The day will fill up quickly, I'm sure.

A quick note. My father fell yesterday and spent the night in Leominster Hospital. The only visible injury is a massive shiner on the right side of his face. The CAT scan disclosed an old blood clot on the left side of his head that's probably unrelated to this fall. As expected, he was not happy being confined at the hospital. I drove him home mid-day today. (He'd driven himself to the hospital. Sandra and I will deliver his car to his house later today.) It's a worry, but he's more resilient than most folks half his age. Stay tuned on this, though.

On the theme of doing different things, we went to the chicken barbeque at the Phillipston Congregational Church on Saturday evening. We arrived at the appointed hour and learned that the barbeque was sold out for a couple of weeks. Disappointed, we walked around the town common. The flea market was ending and the leftovers were free for the taking. We found a small basket and a 1940 map of Cape Cod. We met a friend who suggested that we might ask in the church kitchen, that there might be some tickets available. We were able to buy one ticket. So, we shared a dinner. The people serving the meal took pity on us and gave us extra bread and cranberry sauce. We dined under a tent and watched a fine talent show with singers, dancers, musicians, and a hula-hooper. It was a splendid evening. Now we know that the barbeque is held on the second Saturday in June and that we should buy our tickets in May.

Saturday night is sauna night. When I was a kid, we’d have company which meant lots of food, talking, and old Finnish folk songs on the record player. Families would take turns in the sauna and the last guests wouldn’t leave until 11:00 or so. Now it’s a quiet time, most often just the two of us. We sat on the bench at dusk, overlooking the lake and watching the bat swoop along the shore, eating the mosquitoes before the mosquitoes ate us.

We finished putting a float together. It’s about six feet by six feet, made up of half-height cubes similar to the ones that we use on our dock, pictured here. Once the water warms up in a week or two, we’ll paddle the float into place. We’ll anchor it with some cement blocks. It’ll be fun for the kids to swim to the float.

During the week my father slipped on the wet ground and sprained his wrist badly. Fortunately (I guess), it was his left wrist, which is now a gruesome shade of purple. He’s very lucky that he didn’t break the arm or worse.

We returned home mid-afternoon on Sunday. Sandra’s sister, Barbara, her brother, John, and his wife, Suanne, were visiting with her parents. We shared a bit of John’s birthday cake. Later in the afternoon, Mike and the kids came over for a visit. We had pizza for supper, followed by a Whiffle® Ball. game in the back yard. We went to bed tired and happy.

Today I have a couple of job-search phone calls, one in the morning, and the other in the late afternoon. In between, I’ll shop, pay the bills, and tend to other chores around the house. The good stuff of the weekend seems to have lifted me out of last week’s glum mood.

We watched nearly all of the services for Ronald Reagan yesterday. Most compelling was the way that a republic such as ours could stage such a moment of high ceremony. The events, we know, were planned years, perhaps even decades in advance. They told a forceful story in the context of the nation's best ideals - optimism, leadership, and affability. The funeral told the story that it wanted to tell and told it well. Whether that was the real story of Reagan's presidency and legacy or not is left to a discussion on another day.

We're in a clear and somewhat cool stretch, New England's best June weather in my opinion. In spite of the great weather, I've been in a funk. Alternately bored and anxious, I then get annoyed with myself for not making better use of this wonderful time. The coming week has a few things, such as MFH’s piano recital, my return to the Audio Journal on Tuesday, and a trip to the Cape next weekend that might break the routine. I also have a couple of job-hunting calls scheduled for Monday. I pulled a muscle in my right leg a couple of days ago and can’t run; that hasn’t helped. So, the goal for the coming week is to break the funk by doing different things and doing things differently.

I am able to fit into a pair of jeans, albeit snugly, for the first time in a while. I’ve been on some medication to help me with my insomnia. The earlier stuff had the side effect of increasing my appetite. The doctor changed the meds a couple of months ago and the difference in my appetite is noticeable. I’ve lost about 15 pounds. My sleep is ok. I’m still likely to wake during the night or very early in the morning. If I wake during the night, I listen to the BBC news (rebroadcast on a local NPR station). If I wake around 4AM, I just get up.

Molly is stalking a bird at the bird feeder. She hasn’t caught one yet. She did catch a red squirrel the other day. In another journal entry, I’ll catalog the birds at the feeder. We have a nice gathering.

We’ll go to the camp mid-morning. Sandra’s hoping to get a ride in my father’s sailboat today.

Slowly the air is clearing out and cooling off. It was a stormy night. We lost power for a while.

I've added email notification so that regular readers will receive an email when I've added an entry to this blog.

A chipmunk ran under the back deck, arousing great interest for Marley and Molly. They're a fun duo. Molly, about nine months old, is exuberant and bold while Marley is mellower, but knows his own mind.

The MacGregors arrived yesterday in good order. They made it in 11 hours.

I have a couple of phone calls scheduled for today, a chance to talk with people regarding prospects at a couple of companies. Yesterday morning I had an encouraging chat with an HR person at a consulting company. The trouble is, I've been very close on consulting jobs before, only to have them fall through for a variety of reasons. So, after a brief time of speculating about the job, I dropped back to the routine. Until I have a signed offer letter, I have to keep my job search moving forward.

Another burst of activity on the job front. I had a good telephone interview for a consulting position in Cranston RI. In addition, I received three solid leads later in the afternoon. I will send cover letters and resumes this morning.

Today we'll be in the 90's, but by Friday morning we'll be back in the low 40's. New England. Gotta love it.

Amid the sunflowers.

Our wireless network lets me write from the back deck. We have sunflower plants growing near the bird feeders. Marley is snoozing in the warm sunshine. Adam recently reminded me that, when Sandra was out of work, she wrote a newsletter called News from The Front Porch. It will be fun to see if we can locate a copy.

The weather forecast calls for a hot day today and even hotter tomorrow. I'll do my running in the early morning tomorrow. I did the 3.4 mile loop this morning, up Chapel to Malden and then Main. It's a nice path, although the traffic gets a bit close in the places where there are no sidewalks. The fragrances are wonderful this time of year. I have a Running playlist on my iPod, tunes that have a good beat - Sing, Sing, Sing by Benny Goodman; the theme from Jack Johnson by Miles Davis; several tunes from Paul Butterfield. I don't try to keep to the rhythm, but it helps to have a good soundtrack.

I have a telephone interview for a consulting job this afternoon. I am hoping to get a job description this morning to help me in my preparations. I've changed my approach on applying for jobs. When I see or hear of an opening, I prepare the cover letter and then wait at least an hour before reviewing and sending it. I've discovered on a few occasions that, in my excitement and haste, I've made silly mistakes in some letters. The old saw, you don't get another chance to make a first impression, is never more important than in job hunting. By taking the extra time, I can review my materials more carefully.

RoasterBoy has changed his coffee. We've been buying our coffee from Equal Exchange for several years. Until the last order, I've been getting Cafe Nica, a medium roast Nicaraguan coffee. (Sandra gets French Roast.) They didn't have the Cafe Nica the last time that I placed my order so I tried their Moka Java blend. It's darker than the Cafe Nica with a bit more acidity, common among African coffees. I like it better.

A couple of yellowjackets found me interesting, but didn't stay long.

Apple has come out with a new toy, Airport Express. It would allow us to set up a wireless printer. It would also allow us to stream music from this computer to a set of powered speakers or through our stereo. I will add it to the "When Karl Gets A Job" wish list. As you might expect, the WKGAJ list is lengthy.

Today is a day of errands - shopping, a trip to the camp to deliver some stuff and pick up some other. The MacGregors are coming down on Wednesday, so we are planning a couple of Welcome Home meals. It will be good to have them here; they're wonderful people.

There's been a lot written and said about Ronald Reagan. I don't have much to add. We voted for him and his libertarian message in 1980. I know someone who met him in his office, said that he was one of the nicest, most easy-going guys on the planet. I don't doubt it. One commentator observed that no one knew the importance of myth and story-telling more than Reagan.

The morning dawns with low clouds and drizzle. It's cool enough that I needed to start a fire in the stove.

We decided not to stay at the camp this weekend. The weather forecast called for heavy rain (which hasn't come). We helped my father get his sailboat into the water. Elden, a neighbor on the lake and good friend to my father and us, came over with his tractor to handle the real heavy work.

Sandra and I were quite tired and fell asleep early, only to have me wake very early. (See timestamp.) I'll read my Khrushchev book until the Sunday papers arrive. After inspecting the back porch for chipmunks, Marley's come back in and has settled at my feet.

One of the remarkable changes that comes from being out of work is the dramatic drop-off of email. At work, I'd typically get 100 messages a day. Now, even with subscriptions to several mailing lists, I get 10-15. (That's not counting spam. Microsoft Outlook does a great job of filtering spam. I have it automatically delete spam. At last check, I was getting >100 spam messages per day.)

I'll write personal emails and get some nice messages in return. Even on my busiest days, however, my personal email never gets close to the volume of mail that I received at work.

That email would pull me through the day, set the agenda and be a measure of the amount of work that I'd complete in a day. It's harded to gauge progress now. "What did you do today?" becomes a harder question to answer.

What is so rare as a day in June?

Sandra and her friend, Donna, went to New York City yesterday. They visited the Guggenheim museum, took a ride around Central Park, had high tea at the Plaza, and brought back Krispy Kreme donuts. I brought them to the bus station in the morning and then picked them up in the late night(1:30AM).

It was a fine, clear, and warm day. Marley and I spent much of the afternoon on the back deck. I read while Marley kept patrol to ensure that there were no squirrels, chipmunks, or cats about. I'm reading two books. Yesterday I started Khrushchev by Bill Taubman, an Amherst history professor. At the camp, I'm still working through Mountain Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. In between, I'm nibbling at books on XML and Perl. Marley and I also went for a walk. We started through the woods, but the mosquitoes were fierce, so we turned back and walked around the neighborhood. So, it was a fine afternoon, quiet. There aren't many better ways to spend a day at home.

In the evening we watched TV, including a disappointing Red Sox game. Their starting pitching is really struggling these days.

Today we'll go to the camp. The water is still cool for shoreside work. Rain is forecast for later in the day.

I've started an online Perl course and have found it challenging. Some of the logical operators aren't. (The online course and a Perl reference book differ slightly in their description of the behavior of some of the operators.) It feels good to use my brain in this way.

In addition, I'm planning to take an intensive, three-day course that will prepare me for the project management certification test. The application for the test requires that I provide a lot of detail about my previous project work, including start and end dates, information that I don't have at the ready. Fortunately, Cathy was able to provide me with the GA dates for the Rational releases. I will complete the application this afternoon or tomorrow morning. I will then have to wait until I am given the authorization to take the test before I will sign up for the course.

There's a good chance that it will take me through the summer to locate a job. I have several applications in the queue and talk with people regularly. Now that the weather is warming up, I may also start spending days at the camp. I have several projects related to the dock and patio that will keep me busy for a while. We still haven't heard from the engineering firm that is supposed to be installing our new septic system. They're not returning my phone calls, either.

June dawns damp and dreary.

Over the long weekend, I have made some decisions about next steps. Of greatest significance, I think, I plan to spend the next couple of months concentrating on technical education. For this month, anyway, I will take courses through the DBM online service. They have several courses on Perl and XML. ACM also provides a good catalog of online courses. I'll also be exploring options at nearby colleges, including schools as far away as UMass Amherst. Again, I'll focus mostly on hands-on technical education. Depending on my next job, I'll consider degree programs at a later time.

If I was retired, there's no question that I'd purse a graduate degree, Master's or Ph. D., in American history and related fields. So, why the technical education now? For one, I need to have a better understanding of some key technologies if I'm going to be successful in my next job. For another, it's interesting stuff. I'm not going to transform myself into in a Java developer with a few courses; it's doubtful that I could become one, irrespective of the amount of study that I took. No, I want better technical understanding and the ability to write small utility applications to help automate selected tasks. For example, I'd like to be able to write a program that would read my iTunes music library and produce different output formats. I was never a great programmer. In fact, it was a struggle to be adequate. If, however, I can read code more easily and write a little, I could have an easier time of it in my next job.

Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions. I attended the calling hours for Suanne's mother. (Suanne is marreid to John,. my wife's brother.) It was good to see that folks had gathered and were comforting Suanne, her father, and John. On my way to Brockton, I made a detour to Lexington. Liz is leaving IBM after a long time of hard work. She plans to nap, read, work on her house, and spend time with her cat. Liz is happy and more relaxed than I think I've ever seen her.

While in the lobby visiting with Liz, I saw several former co-workers. It was good to see them, but also awkward because, well, I guess I'm a bit embarrassed that I'm still looking for a job. Answering the question, "So, what's going on?" shouldn't be difficult, but it is. It would be easier if I could say that I'm working as a so-and-so at such-and-such and I like it because .... In some ways, unemployment is almost like an illness. In this economy, we're never cured; the illness just goes into remission. Someone characterized work as the thing you do between layoffs. Fred cautions me that I shouldn't let this time out of work do bad things to my self-esteem. To paraphrase Mark Twain, I know the words, but can't always find the music.

Speaking of music, I've completed the digital music process. I have 1214 albums, of which 775 can fit onto my iPod. It's fairly easy to make changes. For example, in December, I'll make room for the Christmas music.

This weekend I'll be at the Amherst alumni reunion. I plan to stay at the camp on Saturday evening. Sandra will return from PEI on Sunday. The weather promises to be nice. It's still cool and drizzly today.

Sandra and Marley left for PEI at 4:38 this morning. Sandra makes good time when driving on this trip, so they should be at the MacGregors' within 12 hours, perhaps 11. There is a webcam on the Confederation Bridge that connects the island with New Brunswick. It's our dream to be able to see a traveler cross the bridge. Sometimes our dreams are rather modest.

So, how will I spend my five days as a bachelor? Well, on Friday and Saturday, I have work to do at the Amherst College reunion weekend. I'll go to the camp at least for Saturday night and perhaps others as well. This morning I'll help Mike prepare some invoices and give him some troubleshooting tips with his computer. And, oh, yes, I need to start running again. I'm scheduled to run another 5K late in June.

I attended a negotiation workshop at DBM yesterday. While there, I talked with another laid-off IBMer and learned about a course that will prepare me for the PMI (Project Management Institute) test. According to thie person, IBM will reimburse me, up to $2500, for the cost of the course. I will make some phone calls to find out more.