This is not from The Onion: IBM to laid-off staff: Go to India

A good friend was recently laid off at IBM, so we've been having a discussion about a) how big companies make the decision to jettison people who are smart and good at what they do, but whose specific job or project has been canceled and b) how those companies can find just the right amount of salt for the particular wound that they've inflicted:

• IBM to laid-off staff: Go to India- Software & Services-News-Indiatimes - Infotech: "The memo said former workers will be put in contact with hiring managers at IBM in countries including Slovenia, Romania, Brazil, Nigeria, the Czech Republic, South Africa and the United Arab Emirates."
  
• Worldwide companies are fearful that when the Boomers retire, said companies will not have enough qualified leaders. The survey by IBM's (IBM.N) consulting arm interviewed 400 human resources executives from 40 countries and suggests companies are putting growth strategies at risk if they cannot identify and develop the next generation of leaders.
  So, laying them off before they retire will help?
  
• Meanwhile, in an effort to develop alternate revenue streams, instead of just selling products and services, IBM has threatened the fabric of space-time by attempting to patent profiting from patents.

And, in the case that their strategies for shipping laid-off workers to India, Romania, or Nigeria doesn't work out so well, IBM has filed a patent for bullet-dodging bionic body armor.