The 23-Hour Day

So, when the clock said that I was getting up at 5:45, it was really 4:45. We'll be doing that all day - I know what it is, but what time is really?

The Red Sox open their season tomorrow in Texas. The local papers are working hard to help us get to know the new players. I can recite the 1975 Red Sox lineup, but I know barely half of this year's starting team. Meanwhile, the folks in New York are wondering if the ex-Red Sox players will be ready.

Just after noon yesterday, the April Fool's jokes on the web started getting tiring. The "Hubble Resolves Expiration Date For Green Cheese Moon" photo was clever. There were stories of several key Microsoft employees going over to Google. Meanwhile, Google launched Google Romance, a dating service based on the premise that Google knows more about everything than you do. "When you think about it, love is just another search problem." The British newspaper, The Independent, carried a story about a long-secret romance between Chuck Berry and Sylvia Plath. And so on. There was some fun stuff, to be sure, but the net certainly doesn't need a special day to be weird, foolish, or funny.

And, of course, I was looking around the net because I was doing my taxes and was easily sidetracked. The calculations aren't hard, particularly with a program such as Turbo Tax. The difficulty comes as I try to find that one bit of paper with the information that I need to complete a section. Sandra asked me, at the end of the day, how much more I had to do. I said somewhere between 10 minutes and four hours, depending on the status of that particular piece of paper.

We used Quicken to handle our finances. We've used it since 1992. It has a feature that allows you to rate vendors to whom you've written checks. When I was looking up what we'd paid to the Feds for taxes last year, I noticed a little "Rate Treasury" link in the lower left corner of Quicken. It was asking me if I wanted to rate the United States Treasury. Words fail me.

For supper, Sandra and I went to George's Coney Island Hot Dog in Worcester. We each had a pair of their great hot dogs. The place has lots of booths, most of which were empty at the time we arrived. A passageway opens to the bar next door, where a half dozen denizens were keeping watch in the dark. The only change since our last visit was that there are three signs, one on the door and one behind and one above the counter, telling patrons to turn off their cell phones. I guess they don't want to disrupt the ambiance of the eatery or the bar. You guessed it; one guy came in, walked past all three signs while talking on his phone.

The hot dog place is in a ragged section of Worcester. So, it was a bit surprising to see that, next door, Sonia's Used Cars next door is selling a Mercedes M-class SUV and several other Mercedes sedans, along with the expected collection of used cars. "Hey, honey, let's go get a couple of hot dogs. We can get that Mercedes that you've wanted while we're down there."

Frank Zappa is quoted as saying, "Jimi Hendrix 'There's a guy who shouldn't have done drugs.' Eddie Van Halen: 'There's another guy who shouldn't do drugs.'" Jimi died of an overdose at age 27. Eddie lasted longer, but doesn't look much better than Jimi.