Thursday, May 15, 2008

Closing the Complaint Window

We typically regard complaining as truth-telling and, conversely, equating not-complaining with acquiescence. Funny thing, it doesn't always work out that way. Complaining, more often than not, leads to more complaining, spiraling into a persistent spirit of dissatisfaction.

As a result, a church in Missouri is encouraging its congregants to go 21 days without complaining. The idea is that, according to common understanding, it takes 21 days to break a bad habit or start a new good one.

Many therapeutic techniques, including CBT, REBT, and others, talk about reframing - looking at a current difficult situation from a different perspective to understand how bad is really and, ideally, see a way of dealing with the difficult situation without resorting to stale habits that haven't worked very well. Much of our complaining isn't about righting a wrong, but trying to make the case that we're right and someone else is wrong.

I doubt that I'll be able do the 21 days; 21 minutes seems a bit overwhelming. Shortly, I need to head out for a 21-minute drive with my fellow Massachusetts drivers. 'Nuff said.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Read your post just before going out to a "bit%h session" with a good friend. Guess I'll have to re-start my calendar. Would be very cool though if I could do it.

Blog Archive